10 Reasons Why You Must View Your Body as a Force, Not a Failure

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We have combined female self-loathing body time on our staff of well over 100 years and counting unfortunately. As a brand we are celebrating the shit out of amazing women on the daily, but have come to notice that we aren’t very nice to ourselves as individuals. Things we say as individuals about or to ourselves, we would openly abhor if one of our gal pals said it about themselves and so beget this list. We have decided to turn out our old way of thinking as individuals because this list showed us what an impressive machine we are in our own right.

1. Because viewing your body as a failure everyday leads to a lot of complicated and expensive therapy

The path to self-acceptance is long and very complicated. We get it. In fact, we are on the same long and twisty path which seems to go on forever and ever; however, when you look back at the last few years, have you made progress? If not, time to reassess what’s happening. If so, keep moving and get that important soul work done as it is impeding you getting to the fact that you are a worthy investment. It’s true, we asked all of your friends and family members.

2. Because body shamers and your critics are not the ones who count

We came to the place where we asked: Can I just like my body yet? And the answer is: YES. If you’ve got body shamers and critics and they are not in the arena getting their ass kicked, we don't want their feedback. Watch this a sec:

3. Because you cannot breathe enough to help others, let alone yourself, when you are consumed with loathing your body

There’s nothing more real than boiling down life’s questions to what MUST be done first to sustain the delicate balance you have created where you are the center of the universe for probably more people than you even know; BUT, and to use a very popular airplane analogy, if you do not put on your own oxygen mask before you reach over to help another, you will not actually be able to help anyone, because you will be out of the equation. When your energy and focus are taken by agonizing over thigh-gap, you aren’t breathing in the gratitude you need to fuel your life’s meaningful work. 

4. Because you are ALLOWED to have/feel/spread/consume joy

This is the classic “beat yourself up” rebuttal: you are allowed to be happy. To have and experience absolute all-consuming joy in your life. There need be no apologies for this. You deserve it for a million reasons-turn to your best friend for the true list because we know you are making it hard on yourself and will block all those great things about yourself that your bff will happily lay out in a very neat and complete list. Brene Brown says that joy is the “way home.” You know who are the most gorgeous people at every stage of life: joyful people. True fact. 

5. Because social media is not your life’s “to-do” list or “to-be” list

In general, we spend a lot of time talking about physical strength and physical health, but much less time on mental strength and mental health. Some habits can cost you everything. Envying your friends or Instagrammer’s swimsuit photos on Facebook actually causes depression and eats away at your mental strength. Disruptive beliefs rob us of our mental strength. It’s okay to be sad when something bad happens but having unhealthy beliefs about ourselves, like chronic self-pity, keeps us stuck. No one else can control you. Do not give away your power. There are very few things that you have to do. Very rarely does anything truly control you. Kicking unhealthy thinking to the curb now will help you summons the mental strength you need to work within those times that you really need it. Building mental strength is the key to reaching your greatest potential.

6. Because you have just one body, one mind; you may as well take care of them

When your body is functioning well, so is your mind; you can then produce something with your own mind. When your body is weak, the opposite is true. Understanding the body-mind relationship may not cure your physical difficulties, and it may not make you a literal genius; but repress or ignore your emotions and feel that in your gut? Your body aching? There’s a connection! From this vantage point, you can discover that there is an extraordinarily intimate two-way communication going on between body and mind that affects both your physical state and your mental and emotional health. That’s why we should take a good care of your body and pay attention to it. The body shows what in our mind we are unconsciously ignoring,denying,or repressing. 

7. Because otherwise you shrink away from the big badass shit you were born to do

Kick your self-sabotaging patterns that keep showing up in your life! You are WORTHY! You are WORTHY! You don’t need to be approved of, you get to APPROVE yourself! There is no need to seek approval or validation from anyone else. You’re the sole member of “goddamn it, I’m worth it” club because what really matters is how you see yourself. The relationship you have with yourself, it’s the most complicated one, admittedly doing the work we talked about up there in #1 helps you get to this place of embracing your inner badass. Woman, you are a force of nature! Go be that worthy AF goddess now and experience the bliss that comes with loving yourself. And when you look at yourself in the mirror, stop with the whole self-esteem shakedown. Instead say right back at that gurl: “This body was approved by me dammit.” (Or not the swear part. Whatever.)

8. Because you deserve to get what you want

“Getting what you want is simple, but notice that I didn’t say it was easy,” Mel Robbins. But first you have to stop screwing yourself over. See for yourself: 


9.  Because shame is not a form of motivation--it’s a psychological punishment

  • Because shame is not a form of motivation--it’s a psychological punishment
  • Not just because we say so but because #Science! Psychologists say, in cases where shame successfully diminishes a behavior, one should ask, “at what price?”  Shame can become internalized, and the shamed person begins to view him or herself in ways consistent with the disapproval.  In cases of internal shame, the individual becomes both the judged and the judge and experiences self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy.  When shame is internalized and becomes pervasive and enduring, a person can be at risk for developing unhealthy conditions such as depression or social anxiety disorder, the fear of being scrutinized and the avoidance of social events that evoke such fear.  As with other emotional events, feeling shamed can result in vivid long lasting memories.  Shame can corrupt an expression of affection when a gift is belittled or dwarfed in value by comparison with others. Over time, a little shame can go a long way to harbor resentment that ultimately diminishes relationships. Drop the mic, and the shame. It’s not worth it. 

    10. Because your body is the ONE thing that you can touch, feel, experience every minute of your entire life. It is miraculous. Let that be ENOUGH, period. 


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    • Shan Jeniah Burton: March 09, 2018

      Where was this list about ten years ago?

      Then again, there’s value in having learned each one of these the hard way…

    • Maeve ThunderChild: March 07, 2018

      It seems like for the most part, shaming one’s self for anything should never happen, but it is foisted upon people by a society ill. The primary instigators are sales teams and the company executives who accept the stigmas.
      The people who hide away, not to be touched by those they profit off of…imagine that.
      It is an ill that needs to be vanquished from the earth – it can be fit in with #EnoughIsEnough.
      Bravo, Sara!

    • Erica De Sutter: March 06, 2018

      DAMN! This is spot-on! #5 & #9 were especially powerful to me. I am going to write down each point and hang it on my bedroom mirror. This was much needed, thank you.

    • Dee: March 06, 2018

      What an amazing and encouraging list! As someone still working to overcome “shaming as motivation” (because my late husband thought that’s how it worked), I love this list of reasons to view my body as a force. Thank you!

    • KM Huber: March 05, 2018

      “The path to self-acceptance is long and very complicated.” This. So much this. To me, acceptance of who we are, as we are is what is at our core,, and throughout our lives, we peel back shame, fear, whatever or whoever is keeping us from being badass. What a beautiful, thoughtful, and empowering post. Thank you!

    • Aurora Jean Alexander: March 05, 2018

      This is a great, encouraging and helpful post for people like me. My head knows who I am, where my talents are, what I am, what I can do and how I look… but my heart is still that little traitor telling me I’m not what I should be, not what ‘some people’ expected me to be. And still, I can be proud of so many things.
      Thanks for that post.

    • August: March 05, 2018

      So many powerful points here! I especially love #9. We really are taught in so many ways that shaming ourselves will somehow lead to betterment or display some sort of strength or beauty—when really, the opposite is true. I’d much rather hear people boast about getting a good night’s sleep or having eaten well than self-punishment or restriction. ?

    • Jess Witkins: March 05, 2018

      I love this because around the time I was nearing 30 my body started changing with my metabolism slowing. I didn’t have healthy habits with diet and exercise and as I’ve gotten older I realize the health risks without them seeing my older siblings go through health scares. But when I was in the midst of it, my brain went to easy fixes and band-aid solutions because all around us are beauty ads and judgment of women’s bodies not being good enough. I had to constantly question my go to thoughts to stop myself from heading down a negative path and instead choose one of body positivity and self love. We cannot get this message enough. It is so important.

    • Kassandra Lamb: March 05, 2018

      Love this!! Especially the points about shame.

    • Jennifer Redmond: March 05, 2018

      Excellent post all around—I definitely agree with all ten points, but most especially I love #10!

    • Kitt Crescendo: March 05, 2018

      “Yes, yes, YES!”
      “I’ll have what she’s having.”
      Now that I’ve gotten Harry and Sally out of my system, might I say that I agree 1000%? People think it’s strange, but the two biggest things I’m most grateful to my mom and my very religious upbringing are these… She taught me that my body was a temple AND that I was designed in God’s image. With those two things at the base of my body perception, I always felt beautiful. Have I had struggles? Sure, because people aren’t always kind. But when you are loved just the way you are, it’s easy to tune superficial naysayers out and find the true beauty in the world.

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